Soul-Centered Healing #18: Healing the Inner Selves
by Thomas Zinser Ed.D.

In the last essay, I talked about the mind’s creation of ego-states during times of trauma, terror, or intolerable pain. I described the ego-states as inner beings who, once created, continue to exist at an unconscious level even after the trauma has passed. If you haven’t read that essay already, it would probably be good to read that one first. You can find it here.
In Soul-Centered Healing, ego-states are often a central focus in the healing process. They are frequently involved in, or at the root of, a person’s fears, misperceptions, and reactions. For example, if a five year-old child is physically hit by a parent and feels the parent’s emotional hatred, in that moment an ego-state may be created to protect the self against the pain of such deep betrayal and hurt. The ego-state’s protection may be to close off all emotional connection to the parent at this level and to go numb.
In the future, then, this five year-old ego-state may be triggered when the person, now an adult, becomes emotionally involved with someone where the feelings of love also trigger the ego-state’s feelings of pain and rejection. The ego-state responds in the only way it knows - closing off the emotions and going numb. The conscious person may be aware of reacting, but not understand what has been triggered or why.
In Soul-Centered Healing, the aim is to determine whether ego-states are involved in a client’s problems or presenting complaints. If there are, then they can be identified and communicated with directly. The goal of the healing process is to help ego-states share their experience to the conscious mind and release the pain and distress they have carried for so long.
Once released, however, the ego-state still does not dissolve, like air let out of a balloon, but moves to a place of Light and comfort within the self. For the ego-state, it’s a place of integration. We would say it has moved to a new consciousness.
Because every ego-state is unique to the person, we never know ahead of time what ego-states will come forward in a person’s healing process. Each ego-state has its own story. This also includes ego-states that have come forward from past lives. In Soul-Centered Healing, it is not unusual to find an interweaving between past- and present-life ego-states.
While we cannot predict what ego-states will come forward for a person, we can predict how they will respond to certain questions and how to guide them through the process of sharing and release. Essentially, they are beings in pain, and so need to be treated as beings in pain. If we push too quickly or touch too directly on their pain, we are likely to meet resistance. They may refuse to communicate. They may become frightened at this kind of direct contact or confused about it.
To avoid these pitfalls, the first step in Soul-Centered Healing when making contact with any ego-state is to ask if it is receiving Light for itself. If it isn’t, or if it’s not sure, then we ask if it is willing to receive the Light now. Most ego-states agree, and for those who are still reluctant, there are techniques to help make it safe enough for them to at least try it.
This step is so important because it elicits the ego-state’s cooperation right from the start. We can predict, with almost one hundred percent certainty, that an ego-state’s response to the Light will be positive. It will say that it feels better, that it does wants to have healing for itself, and that it is willing to share what it needs to in order to have that release. It is basically the same yes response people have to the Light in the near-death-experience and that earthbound spirits have when they are made aware of the Light. They describe it as infinite love, acceptance and understanding. Ego-states, at their own level of consciousness, seem to have this same kind of awakening.
A client’s higher self is the part that can bring Light - or more Light - to an ego-state. As a soul function, the higher self is a conduit of the soul’s Light and can help an ego-state reconnect to this Source. Because of the dissociative nature of their creation, it isn’t unusual to find that ego-states have become cut off from their inner Light.
Once an ego-state is receiving Light and understands about the healing process, then the sharing can begin. This also is unique – not only what is shared, but how. The sharing may take the form of physical sensations, feelings, visual memories, or an entire reliving of the experience. This isn’t predictable and it seems to occur in the way that it needs to.
An ego-state may also need to do its sharing in stages. What they carry may be too intense to share all at once, either for the ego-state or the conscious self. The higher self can help the ego-state to break its sharing into tolerable pieces.
Once the sharing is complete, an ego-state can release its pain and distress. From a psychological point of view, once the experience has been shared to consciousness, there is no longer a dissociation or a need to protect the conscious self. In effect, the ego-state’s services are no longer needed. From its point of view, it has been relieved of duty. The release is a transformation of consciousness for the ego-state. With the release of its pain or fear, it can receive the greater Light and move to integration where it will now be in alignment with the conscious self in present reality.
For the conscious person, the healing of ego-states means a resolution of unconscious defenses and painful feelings. When an ego-state releases and integrates, then the past becomes the past. It no longer lives in its original consciousness. Even if there is some triggering, it does not carry the emotional or psychological power that it had before. A person is not knocked off-center so quickly. He or she is able to stay more clear in a situation that before would have triggered a reaction.
Working with ego-states is a reclaiming of the self and the truth of one’s own experience. Ego-states are the missing pieces one has known about at some level all along, but could never find. When an ego-state shares what it needs to, its experience “clicks” into place at some level for the conscious person as well. It’s like remembering a name you’ve been trying to recall all day. When it finally comes, it’s a resolution and relief, only for ego-states and the conscious self, the relief is usually deeper and more profound.
Next: The Inner World
Photo: Painting by Marlene Azoulai at: Flickr